if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
