Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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