i don't like sucking hair
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
