I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
