It's Friday. Sex?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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