Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
