Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
