I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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