If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
