Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
