no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
