I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
