Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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