You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
