This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
