toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I puked a lego.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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