You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
