Kiss
Puke
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
