the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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