Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
