do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
