Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
