dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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