I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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