thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
