is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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