You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Four minutes until I can fart!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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