READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
