Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
