I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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