Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
