I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
