And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
