I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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