I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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