Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
