no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
