the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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