I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
