i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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