low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my shit smells like andre
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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