I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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