Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
