OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
