what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
