haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
