There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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