I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
