I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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