I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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