I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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